James Merrill Linn's Journal: February 12 - April 17, 1862

This edition constitutes the collaborative work of students in Diane K. Jakacki's Humanities 100 courese, "Digging into the Digital", Fall 2014, Bucknell University.

Editors: Hien Bui, Rachel Harmatz, Dale Hartman, Alexa Landow, Sam Loomis, Mary Medure, Connor O'Hara, Sarah Rosecky, Julia Wigginton, Riz Zaki

Wednesday 12.

our friends Worthington Picot & Kenney among the number. There were many fine gentlemanly looking men, of all sort shaped [hats?]. It is said that the officers of the Virginia Regt, when they started to come here, they for a fake had their baggage marked New York - intimating they were going to fight their way through - they go there in an unexpected way. A flag of truce came over from Nag's head and took the bodies of Capts Wise & Cole. Gen Burnsides quarters were crowded with Islanders taking the oath of allegiance. We got in to quarters along by our Company, accepting Capt Picots wounded, and I suppose George's and mine were taken among them. If that is so I am well enough satisfied.

Friday 14.

Another delightful day. Our Regiment was on guard yesterday and we were up last night. I got a tub last night took a bath one of the Islanders had washed some clothes for us - and now I feel a new man. Beaver and I went over to see the site of Ft Raleigh. The remains of a mound, but grown over with trees fifty or a hundred years old, are to be seen. it is in an overgrown thicket. Jim a darky piloted us to it - He was ship launcher - that is helped to get off ships that were beached - He said the rebels told him that we would put him in chains and take him to Cuba and sell him. We passed the house of old Doe - two rebels in uniform were brought up to see the old man before he died. for a hospital, & the prisoners were turned out, & had to lay out all night. It was a pity, but we were as bad for we have our men crowded in two small rooms. Yesterday one of the barracks in which the rebel prisoners were, was taken This evening an order came that each captain should take five prisoners into their quarters. It was an utter impossibility with me. Beaver & I talked with them last night a good deal. They are very ignorant - & are something like our rivermen without their smartness. We got our mail last night. Rec’d three letters from John & one from Annie. Our boys were sitting around reading newspapers & the rebels stared at them. They look agape at us drilling. This afternoon Lt Col Bell took the regiment out along the beach. Saw an ancient mill, where there were still remains of corn lately ground. This with being on guard duty last night makes me undisposed to write.

Saturday 15.

It was rainy, drizzling all day. About ten o’clock we had regimental drill and marched down along the beach & visited all the batteries. At the lower one they were digging trenches, making bridges, drains &, and putting up a telegraph up this way. We returned up the road about three o’clock hungry enough to eat a good dinner. Dick had ready for us of roast potatoes, fried beef, coffee and butter & crackers. Yesterday up at Does they showed us some fig trees - they resembled in appearance horse chestnut, not in leaf. Our cooks were ordered on board to cook three days provisions and have them ready by tomorrow evening. We understand that we are to go on some expedition and return here - our camp equipage is to come on shore.

Sunday 16th.

Rained, fizzled, and was generally unpleasant. We had company inspection and regimental, and service. Rodumel has quartered with us, & we live as comfortably as ever. Dick makes excellent tea and coffee, biscuit, and we have had butter and canned tomatoes this several days. Tomorrow, we we hear, we are to go on board the Cossack to go on some expedition, and are to return here. The New York 51st remains on the island. An arrangement has been made to exchange prisoners, and an oath has been to day administered to them not to [send?] against the U.S. until duly exchanged. Morris told me they had a communication with Gen [?] stating that the Bull run prisoners would be exchanged first & then others as far as they go. One of the Louisianan’s formerly of New Jersey, told us that a wounded rebel was waited on by his brother in our army at one of the houses on the Island. As they passed up here, they found the North Carolinians here, who told them they should go up & fight, and after the defeat, they came back this way & found them cooking. They told them there was a devil of an army coming after them - they got so scared they ran around in a ring. An old negro gave a comical description - he said they ran down to the shore, some of them stripped off their clothes, and they were all bedassled.

Monday 17th

It rained furiously all morning. But quit toward noon. We were put in charge of the prisoners in our camp somewhere near five hundred, and ordered to get ready to go on board the Cossack as guard. About noon, the regiment formed to escort them down, but the Adjt had neglected to give us orders, and in the stress of time we had to get ready. Beaver was left to bring down the baggage - he got an old go-cart, but we marched off without him. We were all put on board the Dinkie, and taken to the Cossack - where we stowed them in the hold and between decks - Many were sick and very miserable - we put them in the ladies saloon - Little Connolly that spent the snowy night with us is down with the smallpox. I was talking to some of the prisoners - one of them asked me with a seriousness that made me laugh, whether our government had not sold many of the slaves taken from their masters & that escaped to the Spaniards - that they had been so informed - also they had been told that on our march up to Manassas that we had burned pillaged and destroyed - raped women - that many men had to stand by and see their wives and daughters raped before their eyes. They asked me whether they would not be allowed to go home before they would have to go into service again, and said they would like to get out of it. We feel that we are in rather disagreeable service, with the number of dirty filthy, sick men with all sorts of diseases, mumps, fever, chicken pox & - but have said that we are to do our duty, and leave the consequences in the hands in whom all things are. We took possession of one of the bridal chambers. Mr Mallory, Charles Mallory & Capt Snyder are on board, & we form a mess. Beaver & party got on board, in a surf boat with all our baggage last night which puts us in good trim. I little thought when I sailed on the Cossack that I would ever have charge of her.

Tuesday 18th

Our men were busy cleaning their arms and we put up racks amid ships. The Capt & Capt Snyder went ashore. Kelly came back with him - having absent two days without leave I put him under arrest. Two surgeons, rebels were sent on board to attend to the sick. Of all miserable dirty squalid looking men, these prisoners are the worst - We turned them out on deck and counted them numbering 484. This evening we cleaned out the ladies cabin and made a hospital of it. Pleurisy & mumps appear to be most prevalent. This evening the Dinky came along side with 50 or 60 wounded prisoners There was a rebel doctor, a very gentlemanly fellow, with them and he protested against putting them on board. I felt disinclined as we had enough to do. So the capt of the Dinky, Chambers, concluded not to put them on. The day was cold. A fleet with soldiers came up the channel - some said the D'Epineuil Zouves were along. I never wish to be put in charge of a prisonership. Though some are very intelligent the majority are helpless as they are ignorant. They all tell us that we have treated them very kindly. War is horrible. I first saw the pomp & circumstance - the battle field - the dead and wounded now the prison ship. I felt relieved when they took away the wounded - we had no bed pans - and they would have to evacuate as they lay - I could imagine what it would be by morning, from what I have already seen. I understand we are to go to Elizabeth City. My hope & wish is to get there soon. Tom Grier came on board to see us this evening. He looks very well.

Wednesday 19th

Clear. I went with Mr Carpenter, the mate down to the Picket, to inquire for the mail, but found she had been only to Hatteras, & brought none. Then we went to Gen Burnsides Head quarters on shore to inquire for coal - then up to Ft Reno to see our Quarter master about provisions & went up to camp to see our sick - they were in our old quarters but they had with chicken pox - two others we have in the hospital. When we came down to the beach a party had a little bull, like a two year old, but which a grey headed darky declared had been on the Island 6 years, & he was old then, hitched in a high cart, filled with boxes and barrels. He walked off with his mountain load with considerable care. We sent Bobst to shore, sick with the chicken pox. Shorkley & the Captain went over to Croatoan island to the fortification that the rebels blew up, on the day of the surrender. It was made by putting in two canal boats end to end, and filling up outside with sod. A man said they had about a thousand darkies. He said also that they had drafted on in three on the Island & this was the day they were to come after them. We got some sweet potatoes and a bottle of milk. The sick are getting worse. The rebels had run a gun boat through which we had put some holes into the shore at Croatan Island, and there it sank. Our gun boats took away all the cannon burned the boats, and took up the engine & boiler of the gun boat which were in good condition.

Thursday 20.

This was a delightful day - like ours of May. I went ashore with Captain Bennet. The prisoners were getting sick by the dozens, and the surgeons said they would die in piles if we remained long. It smells dreadfully down there, & the filth & dirt is indescribable. Although we have plenty of flour, there is no means of baking - our hard bread was done, & from the trouble in getting food served as it was, I was afraid of a row, if the want of bread was added to the trouble. So we went up to Reno's quarters, and I gave him the history - He said we would start this afternoon which was good news - so when we got to the beach we saw the flag at half mast, blue, & knew it to be recall of all hands to the ship. I had fortified myself however with an order to remove all my sick to the Peabody. We got to the Cossack in time for dinner, twelve o'clock anchor hewed immediately and we ran up to where the other vessels were anchored, just above the head of the Island, and along side the Peabody. I communicated my orders, but just then Gens Burnside & Reno came up in Alice Price, and orders were given to sail, so we concluded to leave them on board. The day was bright and we went it gaily, the little tug Champion leading the way, next the Spaulding, Peabody, Admiral, Cassock, New York. The Spaulding was the officers and the Peabody the wounded and sick. About four o'clock we entered Pasquotonk river. The shores were marshy and lined with dark pines, with here and there an acre or two cleared, and a windmill. At one place six windmills were congregated and ten were in sight, so we neared Elizabeth City. There were plantations and some fine looking houses. The most beautiful sight were successive [?] or steppes of dark green pines, of different heights, thick and dark - as if they had been cleared and grown at different pines. The water was dark colored like tan bark, the shores winding, bluffed with groves of the tall yellow pine. We rounded a point and came in sight of the place, a shire, tall brick buildings, like mills, apparently just placed on shore among the tall pines. On the point was their fortification tenantless, & gunless, its magazine blown up, and near the shore wrecks of gun boats, one a propeller perhaps the Jamy, and one a side wheeler. The shore appeared close in here. The sunset was very beautiful - and the scene was sombre enough - those pines give it a dark severe look - perhaps in the summer it is brighter - but the most pleasant sensation was to see something of civilization again - a town however small. As we came near, & I saw the houses & farms on shore - Large fine looking houses, some with balconies all around - in the calm evening much like our summer, I thought more of home, and how I would live & alter things in our old house, than I have done since I left home. I was talking to one of the Surgeons - he said though he had been very enthusiastic for southern rights, he thought if he got off he wouldnt get in the army again.

Friday 21

It was bright & fine this morning. The Spaulding & Peabody were taken up first to unload - The New York and then the Cossack. There is twelve feet of water at the wharf and several fine brick warehouses, market houses and other fine buildings. We could see up one of the streets, which was narrow lined and arched with trees, & in the summer time must be very pretty. The different companies were called off, one at a time, and names called & checked. We met some of the officers Capt Picot Col Jordan & others. Their tone was changed, since they got on their sail out of reach of us - false fawning, in order to get well treated, apparently grateful - The 3rd Georgia Reg't was on duty & I understood from one of their Lts, that they were on duty along the canal, & some bitter con- versation between them and our men ensued, until I ordered mine on board. The officers lie to their men without doubt. Capt. Picot said to his men as soon as he saw them "Boys I have good news for you - we have licked them on the Cumberland and taken 5000 prisoners. That 3rd Georgia Regt needs a dressing bad. We all parted with bitterer feelings - the much more so that the ungrateful dogs gave us such an ill return for all the trouble & exertion we made to make them comfortable. In the forenoon while waiting for our turn I went with the Capt. on shore on to the ruins of the Propeller Jamy. & where they had the battery - four guns lay there, but their carriages burned & their effectiveness destroyed. About four under sail and steam ran down the sound, & anchored at Roanoke Island about seven o'clock. It was piercing cold this evening. The officers on the Spaulding growled at their fare but the Capt told them that they got better than they deserved.

Friday 21.

In the ruined battery were buried two men Fred. [Herman?], seaman & Thos O'Mara Co A. Rhode Island Vols, who fell Feb. [10?], 1862 for his beloved country, as it was inscribed on their head boards. The 3rd Georgian Reg. wore our blue overcoats, and they have been captured in the Jamy.

Saturday 22.

This morning after a splendid sleep - relieved from all anxiety, whilst raining very hard, I went off to shore and up to camp, where I was informed we were to come over: owing to having no quarters I got permission of Gen. Reno to stay on board until Monday morning. We got back in time for dinner. The Capt. was going over to Burnside's quarters, & as there was something said about fumigation, I concluded to go too. We took poor little Cuffy over to the Hospital to die perhaps - I heard the Capt brutally remark that he brought him over to the hospital because he hadn't pine enough to make a coffin for him. When I got there I heard Dr Church send an order to Gen Reno to have the 51st Regiment P.V. separated from the others. He told me to get my company off the Cossack as soon as I could. I sent word over to Shorkley to have them ready, and took the back road up to camp. I met the Col. & told him what I had heard, I went to camp, then to the beach, found the Brigade commissary got a little boat, rowed 5 or 10 miles, got to the Cossack just as the Company left in the surf-boats - I went back to get quarters as the quartermaster hadn't got our tents off as promised - I could not find any at Camp & got an order from Gen Reno to use the tents at Fort Park. So down we trudged all the way - & found the tents had no poles. However New Jersey boys turned in and pulled the tents over the cook house made coffee for us & treated us splendidly. Capt Chesney treated me like a prince & gave me a bed in his tent.

Sunday 23.

The Jersey-boys gave us our coffee this morning, & we came down and took poss. of a house & have been busy fixing up quarters. This evening after a dull cloudy day we had a glorious sunset - I have not seen many finer things than the look down over the Sound this evening.

Monday 24.

It was very windy here today. The sound was lashed into fury and beat with a roar on the beach. Dr Cutter & Dr Hoosack were here today. It appears that the cases we have had were [variolaid?]. We had one in the Cossack and four now in the hospital. One man is broken out. We appear to have been the only company in which it was any ways prevalent, and we have been ordered to stay here until it is eradicated.

Tuesday 25.

We sent Smith up to the hospital with the small pox. no other cases have developed. The day was very pleasant and we drilled steadily. Dick has a very bad cold and we are fearful that he is another case. There are others apparently having bad colds and pains in the back - Confound it, I expect it will prevent us from being along with the next expedition. In other respects it has blest us with good quarters. We went up to the [?] and got a couple of boxes & then to the [?] where we saw Tom Grier.

Wednesday 26.

It was pleasant this forenoon. We drilled all day. About noon we were put in possession of Ft Park. I did not remove from my present quarters in Meekin's house, but detailed a guard of 14 to the fort. This evening rain set in & it is dreary enough. We have another case of small pox probably - at least the symptoms of pain in the head and back like a bad cold, are very much like the other cases. Well we are in for it & a good time will have of it I expect. When danger is near it hasn't near the ugly appearance it has when afar off. I feel as easy about it as if I were at home. The only annoying thing is that it will prevent our going with the expedition. I have really spent a delightful time since I have been here, & the prospect of a rainy day, which perforce eased one from exertion is really delightful in contemplation.

Thursday 27.

Last night it stormed fearfully. It howled around our old barracks. This morning however it was clear and bright & cool. I went up to the Barracks - the first thing I saw was them carry several drunk Irishmen across to the guard house & the next thing the Sutler tent with three guards, & and not allowed to sell anything. They had searched the tent & found some sherry Brandy. We bought flour at the Brigade Commissary for 3 cts per pd - surgar 10 cts & candles 25 - We can pay anything at what the government pays. We returned in time for company drill. The boys drill admirably & if we only have a week or two more we will get along. This afternoon we drilled as skirmishers. The sunset was remarkably beautiful. Our house fronts on the shore about a hundred paces from it. The sound is about five miles wide & the further shore gives a deep blue [air?] - Tonight it was saffron and scarlet before last gold and orange & blue. At dusk Beaver & I strolled up to the Fort. The boys had a fire in the old cook house & were sitting around its cheery blaze talking. These camp fires will long live in our memories to be talked about when we go home. I bid them good night & thought amid all discomforts, war has many pleasant cheery phases.

Friday Feb. 28.

Contrary to our expectation from the terrible storm last night it was a bright and beautiful day. Beaver & I started with our walking across the Island, & came to a little house, where a woman & two children sat by the fire. Everything was neat & clean and the floor nicely sanded. Can you do some washing. No I ain't able to wash for myself. She said she was a widow - that there were few women on this island that clean had died in two weeks: they just took a pain in the head and the eyes swelled, and they died in two or three days. We trudged back remarking that if we could have got our washing done we would not have thought the way half as long. We went on up to camp - bought some butter at the sutler's for 45 cts per pd, & rice of the commissary 6 1/2. We returned, whose orders in our absence came to be ready to be mustered for pay. It was late in the afternoon when Lt Reno came, & this evening we had a game of ball - It has blown up quite cold.

Saturday March 1st 1862.

The morning was cold and clear - ice and a bleak wind blowing at all angles. Lt Shorkley and I intended to be off early, on a trip to the battle ground, but everything went wrong. As the wind was so variable, and the wooden chimney after burning half up, was found not to work, we adopted the expedient of cutting two pipe holes one out each side & changing around the stove as the wind changed. We had the pipe out the north side, but as it smoked, Dick changed it to the south side - it smoked worse - so it was changed again to the north - then again to the east - and again to the north where it was found to do best, but miserable at best. This occupied an hour and were smoked and frozen nearly to death - once Shorkley broke the elbow - We have the Stove on a box of sand, and it is pretty hard to move around. Dick in his efforts overset a pan of slop water over the floor & began to swear - Beaver scolded - "Well between the smoking stove and oversetting that its enough to make any man swear." At last the stove took a slight notion to burn and the shad was frying briskly - I sat reading behind the stove - then was an exception - two pieces of fish flew out on the stove and floor - spattered me with hot fat & my book all over. There never in all our house keeping such extraordinary trouble nor were we all ever in such a bad humor. At last we got breakfast about nine o'clock. Shorkley got started - went down past Park pt fort, along the beach about two miles, when a [major?] met us: we followed some one's truck and bound he had been fooled just as we were - we followed his track clear around the swamp back to the beach & then tramped back to Gen Burnside's head quarters, crossed the camp of the 8th Conn & took down a crooked road, reached the main road, and after a walk of three or four miles the old battery - Ft Russel We observed the trees marked with bullets more than 3/4 of a mile back of it, and near it every tree was scarred and cut. The battery was built in half moon shape, with three embrasures very wide outside so as to give as wide a sweep as possible to the cannon. An embrasure, where the 24 pdr Dahlgren was, swept the road - right in the centre. It was all cleared in front - & the road runs straight down about 1/4 of a mile and then bends to the right - & the wood is cleared so as that the road straight in front as also that of the bend. But right in front of the battery just where we crossed showed the most marks of bullets: two trees about 15-20 feet up were pierced through with cannon balls. The pine tree where we lay down was full of bullet holes. We then went down the familiar road, past where the field hospitals were, filled with groaning mangled men when we passed there last to the landing. The owner had come back - named Hayman, and it was at his landing instead of Ashby's where we landed. He said he was there until near sunset - that they did not expect us to land there but at Ashby's: that when he took is family across there the road was full of troops - Between the road leading to Ashby's & this place there is a deep creek, and probably the rebels were afraid of losing their artillery, or they would have attacked us there. This battery is but a half mile across & it could have been shelled by our gun boats had we known it. We walked down to where we landed and saw our broad swaths across the reedy shore - then went over to Ashby's We saw the young man there - he said he had been drafted - had gone up the canal bridge - & his lot fell on him & they were to go home and stay until called. From this landing where they expected us to land, there is a road leading through a swamp [?] - when the rebels were posted with two of their pieces that night they thought the water too low to land at Haymans. The Ashbys raised a white flag - & the rebel officers threatened to take them up. We saw the graves of our dead, one com. off Lieut Goodwin, & one first Serjt Jeremiah? W Morse - [?] - 23rd Mass 27 in all - 1 unknown 2 prob N.Y. 51 1 57th Penna. We returned the same way: met Alcott - had supper flour cake.

Sunday March 2. 1862.

It rained and drizzled all day. The adjt came in this morning and told us to have three copies of our pay rolls made out again one o'clock. So we set to work & it took us all forenoon. John Morris was here to dinner, He told us we were to sail in a day or two - that the Generals had agreed to disobey instructions & not go to Newbern, We were to go some place where we would be landed, and have a march of 60 miles to be done in two days & strike a blow that had ten chances to one of success - that any general would take one in three. He also brought us the news that Nashville Memphis and Savannah had been occupied by our troops: that Gen [Wool?] was in Norfolk with his staff by invitation from rebel authorities - supposed that they wished to surrender to him so as to take the chances as prisoners of war - What this means I can not conceive. I occupied the afternoon writing to the Chronicle. So I suppose we will have to hustle out of this in a hurry tomorrow or next day. We had another abominable job with our stove this morning, trying it out the various holes, and not succeeding in getting our breakfast until nine oclock.

Monday 3.

This morning bright and clear again. We had another trouble with our stove and had to clean out the pipe. We have come to the conclusion that stoves were not made for this part of the country. One day seeming this pitch pine wood clogs up the pipe with soot and tar. Wide mouthed chimnies are the only comforts, and in them we will not dare to build the fires too high or we will set fire to the chimney. But if they are behind in many things, in building chimnies they have succeeded admirably. We noticed this particularly in the wooden ones put up in the wooden barracks, built by the Georgians. Beaver and I had started up to camp, when we were met with the Col. with orders to pack up and get up to the upper fort as quick as possible. We had nothing for transportation except a small hand cart. We hauled everything to the narrow path this side of Ft. Park, making a half dozen trips - carried them over to the fort, then carried dragged, and pulled all up along the beach, through the deep sand, up to the landing. It was a terrible job. It worried us very much. There we met the rest of the Regiment, & our baggage put on a boat to be taken to the schooner, which was to take it to the Cossack. But the Schooner went off without it and the boat had no oars. The Dinkey came & we piled the whole Regiment on it - our boat, which fortunately was in the same boat with the Surgeon's, which gave it a better chance was poled down & put on the Dinkey. We got safely landed on the the Cossack about four o'clock. We had scarce been on here an hour when Mr Walton came on with a large mail for us. I received letters from John of the 19th & 21st. In the latter he mentions the receipt of mine of the 11th, and the grand jubilee over the victory of Ft Donnelson. He enclosed a copy of the Times' correspondence describing the battle. It is grossly inaccurate, and as if written by one who had not been on the battlefield, but had picked up his intelligence from different mouths. Morris told me that Smith, the Times correspondent, was down there the other day with the Gens & some of the Staff, when the conversation ran on the coolness of some artist sketching Gen Foster in the midst of the fire. Smith said he was standing right by him. Frank Reno said you lie, you weren't there - no one was near him." Smith was in to our quarters the other day, and he got some yarns from me that made him gulp. We all now have separate messes on board the Cossack. We have been told that we are going to Winton and from there to Weldon. We have taken none but our well men along - being ordered to have none but those who can stand a march of 60 miles in two days. New rifles, Enfield, are on board for eight companies of our Regiment.

Tuesday 4.

The day was bright and clear. The sunset was very beautiful. The rifles were distributed among our men. We sent Jim. Kelly off to shore, broken out with the small pox. Surgeon Hassack got drunk yesterday and has been laying in bed, sick, all day. Many of our men and officers are suffering for want of medicine. It is an outrageous shame that such should be the case, as no doubt after the hardship undergone and the close quarters we had many would necessarily become sick. The Col. said he had seen as much of it as he would. Hassack would come down nearly everyday to our quarters to see our sick. He would forget all about them, what he prescribed and what their ailments were, and it was as much as we could do to get him to go and look at them. Several days he wasn't fit to do anything and some days would not come down at all. Then I've been told that Dr. Noble has got to drinking too, and was at least once very much intoxicated.

Wednesday 5.

The day was pleasant, the water rough, however. This afternoon we had a threatened storm that didn't amount to much but it was magnificent to behold. The sunset was very fine too. In the open space between a bank of clouds that rested on the shore and those that covered the sun there was the richest tracery in scarlet and vermillion, and above in the dark mess of clouds one open spot golden hued.

Tuesday March 11th 1862 continued.

The day passed without incident. I spent most of the day reading Lossing’s pictorial field book, so far as it related to North Carolina. One cannot help thinking that if they show the same spirit as they did in the days of the revolution it will be a difficult matter to conquer. But their cause is not just as it was then - North Carolina is not in heart as it was then. The men are as brave no doubt: but their enemy is not three thousand miles away. There is not [Chatham?] in the Federal Congress, or any portion of the people in the North that espouse their cause. Their social institution is false at bottom. Capt Picot remarked to us that there would not be such an universal resistance if it were not for the women. In the Mecklenburg District in the days of the revolution the young ladies formed an association agreeing not to receive the attentions of any young man who did not join the army in defense of their country’s rights, [cotuniry?] a man who would not fight for his country, would not be fit to be a protector of them. Perhaps the feeling arises from the stories of rapes & robberies told of our army - perhaps because it is said we would arm their slave against them. They know well that their husbands and brothers make concubines of their slaves - that the slave if freed might wreak their vengeance on them. If I were a Southern women my fears, if I honestly believed this of the northern design, would drive me to a desperation. A tug boat came along side telling us she has a mail for us - The last we had was about the 21st & 22nd of February. 17 days ago. That was the last newspaper news we received. This will [bring?] a little later. We appear more anxious to receive this than any other - perhaps in prospect of a battle near - and it will be the last time many of us will hear from home.

Wednesday March 12.

This was a delightful day, and nothing could be pleasanter than our journey from Hateras to New berne. We [?] anchor at nine o’clock and steamed down the Sound, past Ocracoke inlet, [Ashell?] island Brant Island shoals, and felt some what anxious when we came to the place which indicated whether we went up the Pamlico or Neuse. The Pilot soon assured us that we were for New berne sure, but still it was disputed. About [?] o’clock we entered Neuse River and steamed slowly up, the Gunboats [nosing?] into every bank and bend until at 1/2 past seven we anchored, stuck some three miles from Newberne. An exciting chase after two little sail boats by the Picket, she firing a shot across the bow of each. We saw her come up with them in tow after dark. We observed all along the shores fired kindled raising dense smoke, apparently signal fires to warn of our approach. The sun set in glorious splendor over the quiet waters. Our band played the national airs on deck in the quiet moonlight. Morris came on board with orders. He gave us another report we don’t believe. That the Merrimac came out at Norfolk, sunk the Congress and Minnesota, played [?] [?] with the Cumberland, but the Little [?] stuck to her and disabled her so that she had to put back to Norfolk. Now will take a good nights rest and prepare for the battle tomorrow. I saw the adjt. write his resignation this evening. Ill health the cause - hemorrhage of the lungs. We feel that we will succeed tomorrow, but that it will be a hard fought battle. My hope is that Pennsylvania will not be disgraced.

Sunday March 24th 1862.

This morning Tom Grier and Chas. Kline came down from New Berne in a boat. They were with two officers who went down to visit the battle ground. But as they didn't come back at 1/2 past twelve we took the boat and went to New Berne. It is about a mile and a half or 2 miles by water. We landed by the Alice Price, and went to a three strong ware-house, washed yellow, looked like Tom's house at home. The rebels had used it for an ordinance room "No smoking" was painted on the door "Yankee devils" inside. They did not suppose that we would see it. The room back used as an office was carpeted with cane, and nicely furnished - had a grate. Upstairs above, they had fitted up a nice room - carpet, bedsteads, mohair rocking chair, tables and chairs - fire place, with wood fire quite a library - which they had gathered from various houses in town. Even this gas fixture they had taken from some other house. This table had a fine tea set & everything a house keeper wanted furnished from the same source. I spent the afternoon & evening with them and it was too luxurious. I walked with Yerkes to the Cemetery. There is a wall and arched gateway around it, built of a singular sort of shelly conglomeration - would be very handsome if finished. But it all bears the air of neglect. Founded many years ago 1801 I think, by Christ Church transferred to the City of New Berne 1834 - it had many old graves in it - We noticed that of the Gaston - Wm & Margaret. They had a singular way of putting a figure 1 before their figures, so that one tombstone which told of us of a sea Capt. that died on his passage from London to New Berne, in a certain lattitude and longi- tude, was aged 134 years. Another was 156. - We begn to think they had made voyages enough and it were time he would cease going to down to the sea, when we discovered that it must be either a _fashion_ they had or the oldest people lived here since the days of the flood. We were pointed to a vault, which bore the marks of being pried open, from which it was said Gen Burnside recovered $45.000. One iron doored vault was open & the coffins lay there exposed in a way that seemed awful to me.

Sunday March 24. Continued

We returned to the Gaston House & then went back to Tom's quarters. Tom & I started out to walk. Gen Burnsides Headquarters were in an elegant marble house, with a large well kept yard in front. The comical white guard tent pitched on the dark green grass, the two well dressed sentinels pacing up & down, the roses blooming in the yard, all made a striking picture. Near by was the lonly stacks of the chimnies of a whole half square burned down. Near by the Neuse river are several houses, and evidently stores burned. It looked odd to see a sign of "variety store" flaunting before a scene of desolation - It was curious to notice the vagaries that the fire caused in kegs of nails and other irons. The chimney stacks stood up, & one could not help picturing the bright cheerful parlors where those fire places and grates were, and beneath in the cellar lay the remains of the fire screen. We went up to the Car house & railroad depot. Cannon balls & shell lay all around & in the Passenger Depot were cartrige boxes belts, & accoutrements of all kinds, shell of a new kind with a new kind with a brass cork, canister - a tin-case like a tomato can, filled with 54 canister balls. They had evidently just dropped everything and run. From the letters we have picked up, they never dreamed of having to leave, & yet the Richmond papers say New Berne is of no account. It is to us if not to them, though they must have esteemed it of some impor- tance, from the amount of labour they have bestowed upon its defence. I concluded to stay all night and passed the evening cheerily by the bright fire place

Monday 25.

I went to the Jamy - the Curlew runs over every 15 minutes, just where the Bridge was burned. I was one minute to late. Just then Lt Shorkley & Lt Gaulen came up in a boat & as they told me there was nothing to be done in camp & as my luxurious quarters last night gave me a cold, I concluded to stay. I acted as guide, took them to see what remained of Gov. Lyon's palace, the Cemetery, Car house. Then we went into a French Bootmakers. Gaulen talked to him in his own tongue. Met Morris, who took us around to Gen Reno's quarters, a white house nicely furnished. While here a Chaplain told us a romantic story of Dr Cutter's daughter, Brigade surgeon of 2nd Brigade who died this morning, here of what they call the Roanoke fever. She had requested to be taken to Roanoke Island and buried beside a young man by the name of Plummer, whose real name was Lidd, and was with John Brown in Virginia, and who had been attacked by some disease of the stomach the night before. The battle of Roanoke and died the same night. We went from there & dined at the Gaston House. Corn bread, rice soup, roasted irish potatoes & rice pudding was all [?], at the first class hotel. And a morsel of wheat bread.

Tuesday 25.

I was unwell from my cold all day. It was a bright fine day however. Morris was down to see us, but I was so unwell, I did not enjoy anything. We received a mail from home. Letter from John from the 14 - to the 20th March. We also got papers containing the accounts of the battle of New Berne. Some of them are very absurd.

Wednesday 26.

I am still unwell with cold and passed part of the day between blankets. It commenced raining about ten o'clock and it was very pleasant to hear it patter on the tent cover. The Adjt was to town and brought us the news that New Orleans was taken and that there was a big cannonading at Island No 10. & that our fleet had to withdraw from want of ammunition. We had to make new pay rolls today again. We expect pay pretty soon. Col. Hartranft, received news yesterday of the death of one of his children, and serious illness of others, received a furlough for 20 days & sailed in the New York. We got some yeast powder & Dick baked us some elegant raised bread for supper. It was a really luxury to have it. Hassenplug & Erwine go home on furlough, or recruiting service after pay day.

Thursday 27.

Still suffering from my cold. Discovered the cause. I have been accustomed to wearing top boots & heavy sky blue pants. Very foolishly on Saturday after our return I put on cloth pants, and shoes, & have been wearing them since, though it has been considerably colder. Never thought of it, until this morning & have reverted to my top boots again. This afternoon Beaver & I took a stroll down to Ft Ellis [8 Dupre?]. This fort here is Ft Lane, five guns. The next below is fort Ellis of nine guns - built of sand shows a terrific explosion. The field all around is full of shell & canister, scattered all around - pieces of the magazine hinges of the door - broken arches lying all around. Below this is Dixie. Its construction is peculiar. A heavy frame of logs, floored, covered and sided with planks - two rooms thus made for two rifled guns. Outside frames of [withes?] are made about the size of barrels and filled with sand, connected by bundles of [withes?] 20-30 feet long. These are built all around and over them making them bomb proof. We could see that the [withes?] were tied with ropes taken from the sunken schooners - where they were cut off the sails. Below this are frames where they made these bundles. One of these guns was dismounted and spiked. There was preparation for building another of a similar kind near it. They named that saucy thing very properly Dixie. The next one below of 13 guns is called Ft Thompson. We got back in time for dress parade. We pulled off some moss that grows on the trees here. It was the first thing I noticed when I landed at Slocum creek. It is of grayish color and looks like the beard of an old man tied fast to limb. It has that peculiarity that it don't creep along the limb, but hangs in a bunch as if tied to it. We had an elegant supper of fritters, bread, omelette, ham, fried potatoes &. We move our camp up near Gen Reno's head quarters tomorrow. We have now two cases of vanniloid in our company Hartz and Dougherty - Captain Taylor is down with it too.

Friday 28.

This was a bright fine day - a languid summer day. Part of the Regiment moved to our new camp nearer to town, but still on this side of the Trent, near to where we bivouaced the first night. I was officer of the day, though I was so hoarse that I could not speak above my breath. Toward evening I think my cold is broken up some.

Saturday 29.

We moved up to day. We had been promised teams, but they didn't come, so we tugged away at a hand-cart & we were nearly done, some one had raised a row over in town, and five 4 horse teams came in the afternoon, & before evening we had all our luggage up. We have a motley collection of tents, some of the 21st Mass, Sibley, Wall, common tents, great lumbering tents of the rebels. We managed to get two nice wall-tents & I pitched them at right angles - then we got part of a sibley & made a portico in front - it looks Swiss - One Dick has for his department. The other we eat & sleep in We have it all floored very nicely, & tonight feel as if we were at home again. It seems like our canvas home at Annapolis.

Sunday March 30. 1862.

It was dark and gloomy and rained most of the time. Tom Grier came over and took dinner with us. [Yerkes?] Kline & [Isedell?] were here too. Lt. Applegate, formerly 1st Srjt. of Co. M. 9th New Jersey was in to see us. The 2 lts of his [con?] had resigned, & the day before the battle he had appeared as 2nd Lt, in the Battle. Capt. McChesney was wounded & he has been in command ever since. Capt. McChesney was wounded early in the fight. As some of his men were carrying him back he saw Capt Hayes of their Regiment a german company come retreating. He ordered him back. And as the Capt. didn't seem disposed to obey, he drew his revolver on him, and the Capt. got behind a tree. Then McChesney ordered the men that carried him to lay him down, and charge bayonets on them. They did so & the Capt. led his company back, & they behaved very galantly.

Monday. 31.

The morning was raw and chilly - such as we have in September. Then the sun came out about ten o'clock and was very hot until evening, when it became chilly. Whiskey has been ordered to be served to the men, an ounce in the morning I had determined to make application for a commission in the regular army, & got a recommendation from Lt. Col. Bell. I went over to Gen Reno. He and Gen Burnside both advised me to hold on to my rank here, as the army would be reorganized, and Captains would receive permissions to recruit companies: that I could not get a higher rank than 2nd Lieut & would have to rise from it. Morris & I rode out about a half mile, where Capt. Williamson was building a fort. This is large to contain 8 acres, an enclosed fort, & is about a half mile from the Trent. Another is to be built 3/4 of a mile further toward the Neuse, & about a half mile from it. We had dress parade this evening & Lt. Shorkley acted as adjutant, Bible being sick. Since last night, everything has moved with an unusual [entry ends with no completion]

Tuesday April 1. 1862.

The day was hot, the sun making it so - but the air would at times feel chilly. I was quite unwell during the forenoon, weakened down by my cold and diarhaea. After dinner owing to some startling rumors I was induced to [Rolter?] over to New Berne. The town was as still as death, but the quiet work going on amazing. Artillery was being hauled out back of town: the 57th N.Y. & 11th Conn. sent to work on the fort. Our pickets had been attack last night one killed - one rebel killed & a deserter came in, who gave the information, that 5000 rebels were five miles this side of Kingston, and 25.000 in Kingston advancing this way, under command of Gen. Ransom, an old West Pointer, well known to our Generals, and said to be a man of considerable dash.

April 1 continued.

The Alice Price was sent to Hatteras last night at twelve o'clock to hasten the reinforcements. The Admiral came in while I was over there, & we saw the Cossack go up afterwards. I met Fitzpatrick, cor. of Herald, who gave me papers with the news of the Battle of Winchester. He said the 17. Mass. 103. N York, & 2 Maryland were there - & some batteries in all 3000. Parke's Brigade with the companies New Jersey are at F Macon, so that we have of our old force, 25. 23. 27. 24. Mass 10th 11th Conn, 51st N.Y. 57. Penna. 21 Mass, & 4 companies 9th New Jersey, 6 of the 48th Penna, about 6000 effective men, & the reinforcements 3000, 9000 in all. It is wonderful how reduced the regiments are by sickness and death. Our regiment for instance, had but 450 men on dress parade - & say 300 guard & other details makes us a little over 500 strong. I have nineteen sick in my own company. But prospects of a battle would call the sick out. It appeared to be a matter of anxiety to Gen Burnside that the troops were broken down so, and he attributed it partly to want of fresh beef & vegetables & he said that he had written to Washington urging beef to be sent. If the rebels wouldnt come for a week, they couldnt come past that fort. Col. Bell says his orders are that if he hears heavy firing to form and march to the Ferry. Lt Bell that was with Capt. McRae in the battle with the Texans and New Mexico was his brother.

April 2 Tuesday

Bright and warm. We were ordered out somewhere about nine or ten o'clock to go down & receive the 2nd Maryland & marched to the river, & lay there until near one o'clock, when Gen. Reno reviewed us, & told us to go back to camp. After dress-parade we got orders to move on to the other side of the river in the morning. We had [?] 4 regts 103 & 13 New York, 2nd Maryland & 17 Mass. We feel some regret that we leave our camp, now that we just got cleverly fixed. It is probable that the rebels have not more than 15.000 men at Kingston, & if they give us a few days they cant faze us. Chas. Merrill & Warner were promoted to the Corporals to day and Aaron Smith to the vacant Serjeantry.

Wednesday 3.

It was very warm to day. I was officer of the day. We struck tents about noon and having procured a large flat boat. The tents were first loaded on it & poled up the river. The Regiment then marched off with knapsacks. All the rest of the baggage was carried to the shore. Such a miscellaneous lot of stuff I never beheld, not in the most active of April 1st, The flat returned about eight o'clock in the evening, & we loaded all but the Hospital & Commisary stores. We got up to the landing somewhere about twelve o clock at night. The night was starlit, & it was a pleasant trip up, the wind and tide being in our favor.

Thursday 4th

Early this morning we unloaded the baggage, and got it on shore about a quarter of a mile from camp. The camp is at the west end of the town. The first Brigade being all here except the 21st Mass & 2nd Maryland, just in rear of the fort that is in process of erection. It is a large one [culoking?] near eight acres. The western Bastions are nearly completed Cannon are planted all along in the rear of it and in front of our camps. Gen Reno was here to see us this morning. The place is high & dry - but no doubt the sand will prove a nuissance. About here the land is well cultivated, but the fences go down like magic as each regiment comes in to encamp. Most of the day was spent in getting up our stores. It is pleasant to be here in a civilized place again. We received orders showing that the army is now divided into divisions two Brigades in our Regiment. We do not know how we are brigaded, but hope Col. Hastraupt will have command of one Brigade. The difficulty rests in the fact that the date of his muster is junior to any other Colonel. It is absence now, too, may operate against him. Shorkley and I took a stroll down town. It must be beautiful in the summer. Splendid trees over arching every treet, the quaint old houses, giving one a feeling of satisfaction you do not experience, which seems a [word?], in fact, when you go into the handsome newly built northern towns. Peach trees are loaded with blossoms. Vegetation has com- menced, and the buds on the trees are bursting.

Sunday April 6th

Yesterday and the day before we did little else than fix up our camp. We had a short Regimental drill in the afternoon. Our men have forgotten some but the ground was very rough. In the afternoon we were blessed with the arrival of a very large mail from home. I received three letters from John & 2 from Annie & one from Laura. The last one is dated March 31st, so that it came through in five days. Both last evening this evening, Lt. Col. Bell and I took a stroll through the quiet old town. The streets are lined with high arching trees, and the leaves are just budding. There are many fine houses, but the beauty of them is in the large grounds around them and the shrubbery. Roses are blooming, & the lilac & locust are out. The multiforce is crowded. It must be a charming place, and one could not help thinking of the pleasant social times they must have had in times past. There is wealth and leisure. Where Capt Ritchie has his quarters, was the office and rooms of a bachelor Lawyer, built in a cross shape, & the Col tells me has every luxury of library office, bed room, dining[?] bath &. It was said that at his parties, he always refused to drink wine, & kept up the impression that he was temperate. His servant, whom Capt Ritchie has with him, on the Capt's observing a number of bottles in a closet marked "[haregonic?]" that he would at times drink a bottle of it,

[Diary 55]

April 6. continued.

and lie for a day or two, perfectly besotted. He was in that con- dition when the attack was made on Newbern, amp; had to be carried away. We had company inspection in the forenoon. Tom. Grier came and took dinner with us. The day was delightful, & we went up to the platforms & one of the curtains is partially completed. I suppose that the alarms & fuss last week was caused by a Dr Thompson of the First Brigade, making a false alarm. Morris said he had bought about 70 bales of cotton of an old fellow out in the country, and after he had paid the money, some rebel cavalry came down and burnt it. An order was read on dress parade last night, sending the doctor to report at Washington with the recommendation to the Secretary of War to dismiss him from service - that soldiers lost enough rest & sleep not to be annoyed by false alarms and that all alarmists would be dealt summarily with. We formed under arms and marched into the Presbyterian church, where Mr Mallory preached. We heard also a part of the grand concert given by the 24th Mass Band, Gilmore's in front of Gen. Burnsides headquarters. After we got back we found all our men from Roanoke Island had got back except Murphy & Adam Henry, how have [?] fever. We look very red & some few will be marked. Poor Jim Kelly died on the 27th of March - he was delirious for 8 days and swore like a trooper until he died. It was owing to his impudence stripping stark naked - he was so selfruled they could not get him to take any care of himself. His side on which he lay was completely rotten - in fact he was one mass of corruption. I am glad the rest have gotten over it so happily. We have yet two cases on the other side of the River. We heard, through Gen Burnsides spies, who have just returned from Suffolk, that Gen. [Hendleman?] had taken Yorktown with 180 pieces of cannon. Our friends in the North appear to have been uneasy about us, for fear that we would get caught in a trap. Gen. Burnside has been kept thoroughly informed of everything that has taken place. His spies are everywhere, & he has a very finely organized system. Many are New York detectives. Six of them were on board the Cossack, & it was a long time before we knew who they were. They appeared and disappeared - where we never saw. One I remember did not come on board for a long time, when the morning we left Hatteras to come here, he suddenly turned up. You would take him for a Jersey huckster rather than a detective. We were on board a week with them when we had the prisoners. We kept the prisoners below except at certain hours, when the detectives would stay in their rooms.

Diary 56

April 6 continued.

It is wonderful that a change the appointment of Corporal has made on Charles Merrill. He is dressed very neatly and his hair and beard nicely trimmed, and appears to feel for the first time in his life that he has some responsibility. He does his work carefully and intelligently, & take a great interest in it.

Monday 7.

It was bright fine summer morning but commenced raining about twelve o'clock, & rained until evening. We had regimental roll call, & company drill. I spent most of the day in writing letters to John & Louisa & one to Jim Kelly's wife. This evening Beaver and I [shotted?] down town. It was very desolate. The [sandy evil?] drinks in the rain as fast as it falls. It looked odd to see the rain come pouring down, & sort of melt away like snow.

Tuesday 8.

The day was dark and murky in the morning but it cleared towards noon and was hot during the afternoon We had company & Regimental drill & dress parade. Rec'd a mail from home - two letters from John to the 2nd April. We had our pay rolls signed and will probably be paid tomorrow morning.

Wednesday 9.

It rained all night and most of the day, & tonight it has set in with rain again. Paymaster Maj. Sherman came here and paid off the Regiment in three hours. It was very surprizing to see how large the companies turned out. I looked at Capt. Blairs company of ninety five men - I have not seen so large a company since I left Harrisburg.

Sunday 13.

On Thursday morning I went with Lt Morris on board the Vidette with 3 companies of the New York 51st to go up the Trent to Pollocksville. Everything seemed against the expedition. I felt badly, and as if I had no business to go along, though I had the Gen. & Lt Cols' permission. Took breakfast with Morris and went down to the river. The Ocean Wave took us to the Vidette - The New Yorkers were mysterious [?] they were on a serious expedition. I suppose their reporter was along - I know Mr Schell was along - & when we ran through the draw of the bridge and knocked one half of it down, he made a fine sketch of it. We had no surgeon - I went to Gen Reno - he sent me to Dr Cutter - he to the Surgeon of the 2nd Maryland, but as they were across the river, we concluded not to go after him, as we had a Dr from Pollockville

[Diary 57]

on board, when [Baron?] Egglestein of N.Y. 3rd had taken up, whilst visiting a patient, with another man named [Baras?] a merchant up there, bound hand & foot & sent him down as a spy. We ran aground a mile up above the bridge & put them ashore to foot their way up. We lay all night then came down, got two tugs and pulled her off. So ended the Expedition. Saturday I was officer of the day. While standing out by the road, a horse came along with a coffin, followed by a buggy with a little boy. It was going out of town. Another buggy came in with two ladies, and when they saw the hearse, they set up the most piercing screams - they beckoned to me to aid them in getting a pass to follow the body out. They were the mother & aunt of the boy 16 years old, who had come to town & died suddenly of congestion of brain. I suppose he was a rebel soldier, but I did not press inquiry. Today I went with Tom Grier down over the battle ground. We took pleasure in having out the big [pine?] trees. We found a ram-rod whose end had been bent by a bullet, and near it a bullet that fitted the indentation on the rod - evidently the same bullet that hit it. The trees showed wild shooting on both sides. The horses had been buried in the trench & a very disagreeable odor prevailed. We heard the news that a battle had been fought at Corinth and after two days hard fighting, the rebels defeated, Gen Albert Sidney Johnston killed, & Beauregard an arm taken off. The loss on both sides great. This battle I feared most of all. It is the last struggle for the Mississippi valley.

Monday. 14.

I have been exceedingly unwell - had to leave the drill this afternoon. I got some medicine, went out to dress parade & it had a bad effect on me. My head is giddy, bones ache, burning fever. but I hope I'll be better soon. We have the news of the Battle of Corinth confirmed.

Tuesday 15.

I have been under the weather and staid in my tent all day. This morning I felt pretty bright but towards evening the head-ache came again & this evening I consulted the Doctor again, who gave me a prescription with directions to take it tomorrow if I could sleep to night. My appetite is extraordinaly good. Gen Reno with 3 regts from here 21st Mass, 51st N.Y. & 48 Penn go to Roanoke tomorrow where they take on 3 regts & go some place else. Though the news of the defeat at Corinth is here, yet our Generals think this is the most critical point of the War. The senseless cry against McClellan is creating alarm, Burnside, Reno, Parke & Foster say that they will resign the day they hear that McClellan is removed.

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We had one man killed, Hoffman of Hassenplug's company and some wounded. He had his whole stomach knocked out with a [?] of shell. I struggled on foot - by foot. What most made me feel badly was that I should become exhuasted just at such a critical time. But many were like Officers & men. We at last came to a road: the regiment was sent in to the left. I sat down & lay down - I thought would die. Alcott came along and put a flask of whisky to my lips and a few swallows revived me. We staid there, sending in all the straglers. Col Bell sent for the 21st Mass & they came up in good order - They had stopped and rested. I had a large party of stragglers & started in with them the direction the rest had gone. I met Gen. Reno. He told me to keep down toward the left. He appeared to be mad about something. I went to the road & then in. Lt Shorkley came out & lead the Mass 21 & lead them into position to the right of us. By the time I got into a big oak tree, I saw [?]] [] [w.k.?] streaming back, asked where his company was - said some were in there - I found there was no company [?] in battle - a serjt & corporal all that was known to exist & they with Blair. By this time my stragglers had fizzled out wonderfully - I had but two or three of my own men. I came on to my own men [lost?] there a few shots were fired, & some one cried out don't fire, they are our men. Capt Blair shouted to our color bearer to raise their colors high. We soon found out who they were - The infernalist shower of bullets came in on us that I ever witnessed. Two of my men fell, Lunig shot in the jaw, & Buskirk in the arm. But he gave them pepper back. The colors were a good mark to fire at & I ordered them lowered. The 9th N. York made a charge - came out in beautiful order - but the distance was great and they were exhausted - the rebels played into them with canister & ball - so the[?] over the [?] onto us. I thought the rebels were charging us, & gave my men orders to fix bayonets. I soon saw the red hats however. It did not make our men even quiver - They stood steadily firing. Directly we moved to the right, down along the fence - when the order was given to charge - down went the fence, over we went pell mell our flag ahead. Brouse of Hassenplug's company fell shot through the head. I had just reached a ditch, when I felt a sharp pain in my side & sickness deathly - fell and was unconscious for a little while - but recovered & staggered on, supported by some of my men. I am yet unable to say whether it was a faint or something struck me. I can't find any mark. The rebels left. But we were unable to pursue, being too much exhausted. We formed & I had the roll call, & found four men wounded - some missing - [Luning?], Buskirk McCormack, & Vandine.

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On Board Guide

Thursday April 17. 1862

Yesterday we got orders about noon to go on board the "Guide" with six days provision. In two hours we were on our march. Leaving all the sick we have seven hundred solid men with us. We marched through New Bern, past Gen Burnside's & Reno's headquarters - The streets of the town are sandy like a sea-shore - the day was very hot - & though equipped for light marching it was very hard on us. We went to the wharf at the Railroad Depot, on the Neuse, & the Pilot-Boy took us One wing at a time, down to the Guide lying below Town. The Guide is a very fine boat 32 feet longer than the Cossack - & [?] [state?] [fines?]. We are quartered very comfortable, though the men are very much crowded, and between decks it is very hot. Capt Shawl as usual drunk as a fool - I was reading at the table when he came up, took the light and made a drunken endeavour to light his pipe. My first im- pression was that the wind had blown it out. As I looked up he had his pipe upside down, swaying to & fro until he scorched his nose. "Don't you like it you can lump it" he said. I now register this now, that [twere?] I have excused his impertince, because he was drunk, but here after, I will go upon the rule of law as to drunkeness, that is - every man is supposed to know the consequences of his own [?]. He commenced talking about getting killed - that we were to have a battle on this expedition. I shall never vary my belief in his innate cowardice. The only time he kept sober was when he led us away from Centreville. He was drunk when we landed at Roanoke, he was drunk at the battle. He was drunk at Slocum's creek & presented a most contemptible aspect - having fallen in the mud. The hair matress was too warm for me to sleep on, in the close state room, having slept in the open air for a month. Toward morning it became cooler & I slept. I have today been better than I have been for sometime. I have been bothered with pain in the back, head and back of the neck & stomach - I was not alarmed though they were symptoms of small-pox. But to-day my both hands broke out with red-spots & pimples. There we are thinks I - only regretting that I was not back to New Berne, and the length of time it would put me off duty. However after looking at it suspiciously all day, I found they turned out to be watering pimples - Bless my soul - was ever man known to rejoice that he had caught the Itch - [?] it was - & no small-pox -

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